222 and a half: a bonus post

Anatomy of a run

Monday morning seemed like a good moment to start running again, as I quite enjoyed it and I’d like to do it again. I started Couch to 5k again in lockdown, but while my knees were fine my Achilles tendon decided it didn’t like it. Four years later, it feels like time to try again – I love walking but for a quick morning boost running is the way to go. Sounds pretty straightforward, yes? You’d think….

So, running kit on and feeling if not motivated, at least vertical, I…

• tape kneecaps firmly into place
• found my daps, which on inspection were looking like they needed replacing
• located new daps in cupboard. Checked to see if the laces would glow in the dark because, you know, they looked like they might.
• put on daps and laced up with my sister’s voice in my head…. they aren’t done up enough! Use the lock things! Thanks Tan
• located running earphones
• found phone. Battery on 16%. Same, phone. Same.
• add watch and inform Strava that I intend to go for a run
• Find favourite running playlist
• opened C25k app. Phone informs me that the app is so old it might not work on my phone. Ignore warning and continue. Phone says app requires money for new license. Delete app.
• Find official NHS Couch to 5k app on principle that this is healthy. Choose a coach, it says. Select Steve Cram on the principle that he probably knows what he’s doing.
• Start walking accompanied by the northern tones of Mr Cram
• Three minutes later. Steve Cram STILL talking. Then says we’re about to start. I have already started.
• Steve Cram still talking while we are doing walking.
• Yep, still talking. Beginning to regret choice of coach.
• Open app and discover that while I can change coaches, there is no option to do this thing without a coach.
• Delete app. Delete Steve Cram.
• Remember that I liked running because it’s half an hour when no one talks to me, and that’s why I do it solo. Sorry Jill. Sorry Steve Cram.
• Find new app, which has annoying electronic American woman (for some reason I picture her as Korean. Go figure) but at least she doesn’t try to motivate me other than to tell me when to start and stop running. It is the app that goes ping.
• Remember I haven’t started Strava. We all know if we didn’t Strava it, it didn’t happen. Start Strava.
• Do run accompanied by pings, bongs, electronic American, and excellent choice of music. Knees and ankle still attached. That wasn’t so bad.

Next run is Wednesday. Note to self….charge phone!