Month: Oct 2024

241: where’s my head at?

This week my corporeal self has been in the office but my spiritual self has been journeying to Wales. Flashes of scenery from the very well-known journey have been popping up in my brain: familiar views, landmarks (not just those where my sister threw up, which is often how the family measures journeys) and glimpses into the near future. It’s been very distracting, especially while I’m trying to concentrate on things like research into illustration as a learning tool, emailing everyone I have ever met about National Illustration Day 2024 and how they can celebrate it with us, thinking about evaluation, schools programmes, funding applications and what on earth I’m going to cook for dinner. My brain is so fuzzled this week that I forgot the name of the filesharing website I needed and had to ask the team. Luckily they knew but my mind was a complete blank. Spotify has helped – our office is on a mezzanine floor above a comms company and some days it’s very loud, so I plug into a playlist and get my head down. In the ears this week have been They Might Be Giants, Rusted Root and Dolly Parton.

It hasn’t helped that Thing 1 has inherited TT2’s inability to respond to an alarm and has them going off constantly from 5am. Apparently they sink into her subconscious, but I think its more that they wake EVERYONE else up and we all go and shout at her. Not that that works either, but we feel marginally less furious.

The journey to Wales, when it finally came, gave me a LOT of time to look at the scenery. It took us five and a half hours – the usual length of the journey – to reach the border due to unexpected road closures, tractors who were thoroughly enjoying leading a holiday parade, standstill traffic on the M25 and surrounding roads. We avoided the M4 as it was a mess, and kept to the M40/A40. Once we hit Wales it was pretty plain sailing apart from another unexpected A40 closure, with no diversion signposted, and the route we found took us over Mynydd Epynt and the Epynt Range complete with vans full of soldiers in camo paint and the odd group of squaddies in full kit appearing as if from nowhere, sheep roaming the roads and big signage telling us DO NOT STOP and that the road was open to the public that day (phew). The views were amazing, and we could see the training town on the next ridge over. We eventually arrived just before 7pm after leaving Essex at 10am. The views will be lovely in daylight!

Chip butties for dinner with popcorn cockles rounded off the day. The out of office is on, we are in Wales, aaaaaand…. relax. The cottage overlooks Cardigan Bay, so hopefully we’ll see the dolphins and I can’t wait to get in the sea.

Things making me happy this week

  • Watching Season 4 of Slow Horses which was way too short, and starting Bad Monkey based on Carl Hiaasen’s novel. I love Vince Vaughn.
  • We celebrated Thing 2’s 16th birthday, with a Wiggles the Caterpillar cake (other caterpillars are available, much to M&S’s disgust) and dinner of her choice which this year was tacos.
  • Seeing skies full of stars in the mornings and London at dawn, with the ludicrously Gothic old Prudential Assurance Building looking at me as I exit Chancery Lane station
  • Late Autumn sunshine, although it makes dressing tricksy.
  • Wales.

Next week: what I did on my holidays.

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

Perverse and Foolish: A Memoir of Childhood and Youth – L.M. Boston

Wild City: Encounters with Urban Wildlife – Florence Wilkinson

A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian – Marina Lewycka

The Good, The Bad and the Furry – Tom Cox (Audible)

Twisted Twenty-Six – Janet Evanovich (Audible)

Unruly – David Mitchell

240: Here we go again part, I don’t know, several million

Well, gang, it’s been a while since I had to get up on this particular soapbox, but here we are again. This time it has a positive outcome but quite frankly it should never have been an issue in the first place, it being 2024 and all that.

I should probably include a trigger warning here for workplace bullying, sexual harassment, self harm and fury. Skip to the happy list at the end if you like. I won’t mind. Honest.

Thing 1 has been working for the last month or so at the local pub, where she and her best friend do a mix of kitchen and front of house shifts. Another of her friends, a lad she was at school with, also works in the kitchen. It came to light that she really wasn’t enjoying the kitchen shifts, and neither were her friends, due to another, older, member of staff who was making sexually inappropriate comments to these two teenage girls and bullying the boy. Not in front of other staff, of course, but in that nasty underhand way that bullies have, trying to make his other victims complicit in his behaviour – presumably with a sense of relief that they weren’t on the receiving end for a change, because that’s how bullies work. He commented on Thing 1’s self-harm scars and ‘advised’ her on more effective methods, and made explicit comments on the girls’ physical appearance. He threatened to get them all sacked and screamed at the boy so loudly in the kitchen it could be heard in the bar.

One evening last week they got together and approached their manager, with video evidence of an incident and detailed everything else that had gone on. The manager – also the father of a teenage daughter, but I would hope his reaction would have been the same anyway – offered the girls the chance to speak to his wife if it made them more comfortable, or for his wife to join the conversation. He didn’t make them make a statement, which is supposed to be procedure at the company. The bully was sacked the next day for gross misconduct and it’s been made very clear to all the staff that bullying of any kind is not acceptable.

I’m very proud of them for standing up for themselves, but furious (mama bear again) that yet again Thing 1 has been subjected to bullying and inappropriate behaviour. Having been the victim of bullying at work when I was a young teacher, I’m aware of just how long-lasting the effects can be, how damaging it can be to your confidence, and I didn’t want this to be her impression of what work is. I’m also pleased the manager’s response wasn’t to ‘have a chat with him’ as it was when I reported sexual harassment to an HR team in the first museum I worked in. It also demonstrates the power of working together – forming their own little union, if you like, and making things better for everyone.

My baby bird has come a long way since the incident a couple of years ago with the local business owner, and I am glad that the lack of action by the CPS on that occasion didn’t deter her from reporting this, but oh, how I wish that this sh*t (sorry Dad) wasn’t still happening in the first place.

Things making me happy this week

  • Interesting online things – mentoring training for working with young people who want to get into the creative industries, and one on workplace wellbeing.
  • A good day at Copped Hall last Sunday, despite Thing 2 being convinced her feet were going to fall off. Converse are not good cold weather shoes.
  • Making crochet French Fancies. With google eyes.
  • Idris Elba’s In The Long Run, his comedy series loosely based on his East London childhood. At the same time I was reading Lenny Henry’s autobiography, set a decade earlier, but detailing his experiences growing up in the Black Country as a Caribbean migrant. There’s probably some clever comparison I can make but mostly Lenny Henry’s made me quite sad. Word of warning – Netflix have listed In The Long Run backwards so we watched series 3, then 2, then one and were very confused.
  • Brassic, which has gone from strength to strength as the series (serieses?) have progressed.
  • Bemused by Lulu-cat’s personality change in the last few weeks. She’s taken to shouting at us and demanding food loudly, herding us in a most Bailey-like fashion.

Next week I’ll be coming to you live from sunny (I hope) Wales. Must remember to pack laptop.

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

Who am I, again? – Lenny Henry

A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian – Marina Lewycka

Perverse and Foolish: A Memoir of Childhood and Youth – L. M. Boston

21st Century Yokel/The Good, the Bad and the Furry – Tom Cox (Audible)

239: mama bear mode engaged

This has been a fairly chaotic week, what with one thing and another, juggling family, work and finally a mercifully brief (as long as I don’t move too fast) bout of vertigo.

Thing 1, as I have mentioned before, is doing one of those new-fangled T-level things, in Education and Early Years. After a rough start at Harlow College doing a beauty course which she didn’t enjoy, she began the T-level course and got a A in her first year. A large part of the course is practical, spent on placement in an early years setting. Last year she was in a setting in Harlow, which meant the better part of 3 hours travel every day at the mercy of her inability to get up despite approximately a million alarms and an erratic bus service. This year, she got a placement in our local town, which you’d think would be a good thing – except it was the one school locally where I didn’t want her to go, as when she was a pupil there she was badly bullied. The school were unhelpful to say the least, telling me that she – as the victim – had to take some responsibility for being bullied. I have never come so close to thumping someone as an adult in my life – I was literally speechless, and anyone who knows me will be aware that that does not happen often.

Her anxiety stems from this experience, so I was worried that going back there would trigger a crisis. She felt that she would be OK, but the two reception teachers made it clear that they had no use for a student and weren’t allowing her to plan and deliver the activities her course required. She was also very distressed about their handling of a child with behavioural issues and children crying (these are four years olds who have been in school for a matter of weeks). I have long held that this particular school is not supportive of children with additional needs, and I still wish I’d removed Thing 1 before the end of primary. Things 2 and 3 changed school when Thing 1 went to secondary, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made – if your child’s only complaint on their first day is that people tried to play with her and ‘they didn’t even introduce themselves!’ I think it’s a good sign.

Luckily her tutors were supportive, especially as Thing 1 had already raised the child with a behavioural issue as a safeguarding concern with them, and they have helped her to find a new placement with a lovely local school. She’s been talking over the last few months about going to university and has expressed an interest in working with children with SEND, which I think she would be great at (obviously I am biased, but) and I really don’t want her to have a negative experience before she’s had the chance to find out what she wants to do. (My own final teaching practice began with the teacher saying ‘You can’t be a teacher in a year, I don’t know why you’re bothering’… and it went downhill from there.) The relief I am feeling and the gratitude to the local head for making an exception and taking an additional student this year are enormous. I know she’s 18 and all that, but I am pretty sure there’s no age limit to the mama bear instinct.

Other things making me happy (or dizzy) this week

  1. A visit to the Charles Dickens Museum on Wednesday – I took their learning person on a tour of the New River Head site (Dickens was a New River Company customer, it seems – even back then people were complaining about the water companies. Dickens paid for a bath-sized cistern but it was never full enough) and then we went for a return visit.
  2. Later that evening the vertigo started – I probably shouldn’t have gone to work on Thursday but it was World Mental Health Day and I’d organised a team lunch and made banana and Malteser cake. The journey home was not fun, I can tell you that much. Luckily the cats kept me company all afternoon and Thing 2 looked after me.
  3. An extremely slow walk around the Knitting and Stitching Show with Heather on our annual pilgrimage to Ally Pally – I didn’t buy anything at all, which is a first, and we remembered to take our packed lunches. We saw many Bees, including Luke who won this year’s GBSB, and I met some lovely textile illustrators. The Subversive Stitcher, who had an amazing exhibition of vintage tea towels in the foyer, was a favourite, and Harriet Riddell‘s amazing embroidered portraits and scenes. We liked Richard Box’s gorgeously tactile hares and flowers, too. The show had a couple of years when the big exhibitors didn’t attend but it seems to be back on form now – the graduate showcases and quilt exhibitions are always worth a look too.
  4. Lots of making for today’s Apple Day at Copped Hall. Thing 2 is helping me out again, and we may have to be ‘those people’ in dryrobes as the temperature is looking autumnal.

You may detect a distinctly festive theme to the making, as I have just heard I have a stall at this year’s Epping Christmas Market, but there’s autumnal ones too…

And now I am off to enjoy the new series of The Cleaner, with lovely Greg Davies. Same time next week then!

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

Unruly – David Mitchell

Razor Girl – Carl Hiaasen

We Are All Made Of Glue/A Short History of Tractors in the Ukraine – Marine Lewycka

Horses, Heifers and Hairy Pigs: The Life of a Yorkshire Vet – Julian Norton

21st Century Yokel – Tom Cox (Audible)

238: I myself am strange and unusual

Last Sunday Thing 2 and I took another trip to the cinema, this time to see Beetlejuice Beetlejuice – my choice of film as the original is one of my favourite 80s movies. I was wary of it being a sequel for the sake of it (see the latest and hopefully final instalment of Bill & Ted for an example of this. Actually…don’t see it, it’s bloody awful, take my word for it instead). I’m happy that she wants to spend time with me even though she’s almost 16 (in 16 days, as she has just reminded me), and also we wander over to TT1’s afterwards and see the ever-growing family.

It was great. A cameo from Danny De Vito, reappearances from some familiar characters in bit parts – in bits, in fact – as well as (of course) Winona Ryder and Catherine O’Hara from the original cast. Jenna Ortega put in a great turn as Lydia Deetz’s daughter who’s taken second place to ghosts her whole life. Justin Theroux as a would-be stepdad was revolting. Michael Keaton, as the bio-exorcist being stalked by his soul-sucking ex, was on top form – but then isn’t he always? No story spoilers, but do go and see it.

I love a good 80s movie, and although some of them are a bit problematic in these enlightened days, I’m still introducing the kids to them when they pop up on the streaming channels. We’re drifting into the 90s a bit now, with Billy Elliot a recent watch, but mostly I’ve been sticking to my own teen favourites. So, in no particular order, here they are…

  1. The Princess Bride. The greatest film ever. No arguments.
  2. Say Anything. Featuring John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler, best known for standing in the rain playing Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes at Ione Skye’s window. Stalking by any other name, but I LOVE it.
  3. Pretty in Pink. I still think she should have ended up with Duckie like in the book, and her prom dress was the ugliest dress EVER. But this was peak Andrew McCarthy…
  4. …and so was Weekend at Bernie’s. One of the funniest films ever made. Wildly inappropriate. I still cry with laughter.
  5. Reckless. Oh heavens, Aidan Quinn as a teen rebel. Be still my beating heart.
  6. Ghostbusters. Giant marshmallow man. Sigourney Weaver. Bill Murray and Dan Ackroyd.
  7. The Outsiders. Brat Pack heaven*, based on an amazing book by S.E.Hinton that makes me cry every time. So does the film.
  8. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Matthew Broderick in cheeky mode, Mia Sara in gorgeous mode, and Jennifer Grey in pissed off big sister mode
  9. Dirty Dancing. Nobody puts baby in a corner. Great soundtrack and Jennifer Grey again, and *that* speech in Johnny’s cabin. Swoon.
  10. Labyrinth. David Bowie and Muppet monsters. Win-win.
  11. Batteries Not Included. Community spirit and a really cute baby alien.
  12. Stand By Me. One of the best Stephen King adaptations ever, beautifully done – one of his novellas, starring a very young River Phoenix.
  13. The Blues Brothers. Carrie Fisher’s finest moment. Dan Ackroyd. Aretha. Endlessly quotable lines.
  14. The Lost Boys, Pretty Woman, The Breakfast Club, Time Bandits, Field of Dreams, Heathers., The Goonies, Footloose, Big….so many.

*You may spot that apart from #7 there is no Tom Cruise in this list. I loathe Tom Cruise, even more than I loathe Jim Carrey and Ricky Gervaise. This means that there will be no Top Gun or Legend on this list. Ever. Despite Tim Curry’s appearance in the latter. Tim Curry also gets an honourable mention as The Grand Wizard in The Worst Witch (also starring Diana Rigg as Miss Hardbroom – perfect!).

Other things making me happy this week

  • A sunny walk this morning to the farm and across the hare field – no hares today, but lots of deer and some autumn calves. I did a bit of jogging and a bit of walking, and my knees and achilles seem to have survived which is nice!
  • On Tuesday I took part in audio description training run by Mind’s Eye – so interesting and useful, and it really made us all think differently.
  • Taking a break from making tiny Christmas Mice – making crochet gingerbread men and starting a baby blanket too
  • Series three of Heartstopper – this really keeps the feel of the graphic novels
  • Tiny pumpkins. I am tempted to paint them.
  • My beloved made me some excellent display boxes for my Copped Hall Apple Day stall next week, and Thing 2 and I started making props for Christmas displays.
  • Being given a rheumatology appointment well within the twelve weeks – six weeks since referral, in fact. Less pleasing was the ‘aging’ bit but at least it’s osteo and not rheumatoid. I think.

Today I am off for a swim at the lake with the ladies, and next weekend it’s the annual Ally Pally visit for the Knitting and Stitching Show.

Have a good week, people!

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

21st Century Yokel – Tom Cox (Audible)

Real Tigers – Mick Herron

Unruly – David Mitchell

We Are All Made of Glue– Marina Lewycka

Razor Girl – Carl Hiaasen