306: north and south

I may have mentioned once or twice how much I love London, and part of that is the sheer variety of things to do when you’re in it. Recently, thanks to an excellent organisation called Tickets for Good (I work for a charity) and being part of various arts networks, I have been trying to do a few more of those things – Amanda and I went to see the excellent production of Othello just before Christmas, for example. There’s been two nights out this week!

Wednesday

The first evening out was also with Amanda, to a venue called Lafayette London near Kings Cross – a basement venue styled as a saloon with a lot of wood and extremely expensive drinks. The show was Sabrage, which is when you open a wine bottle with a sabre and this did indeed happen at the begining and end. Everything in between was…unexpected.

The venue was pretty full, and our wobbly table and bentwood chairs were surrounded by a whole variety of people – from a pair of elderly couples in front of us to two lone gentlemen behind us, one of whom left before the interval and the other of whom was having an absolute whale of a time and who recommended a similar event to us. Several people left before the interval, in fact – perhaps the unexpected was a little too unexpected. It’s for over-18s only for a reason.

The show is described as “a decadent world where high-octane spectacle and intoxicating allure meets titillating humour” which pretty much nails it. The comperes, who amp up the energy from the moment they take the stage with comedy and audience participation (which continues throughout) are highly entertaining and have their own spots in the show as well. I haven’t laughed so much in a while, which is much needed.

There are slinky singers in sequins, one of whom sat of the lap of the elderly gentleman in front while singing – prior to this he hadn’t looked as if he was enjoying himself, and his wife was highly amused. There’s cheeky burlesque, perfectly timed and occasionally outrageous physical comedy, amazing aerial work, rollerskates, bubbles, people flying around and climbing walls, and Amanda was still emptying gold foil out of her handbag the following day.

We had dinner at Caravan in Granary Square beforehand – sharing plates including pizza, smashed cucumber, kale and croquettes, and entertainment was provided initially by the adjacent table where an ex-couple were picking over the bones of their relationship. Well, he was – she couldn’t get a word in between him mansplaining her feelings to her. He was drinking heavily and she was trying not to, and after two hours of him we were somewhat concerned for her welfare as he was not taking hints. She had her coat on and was trying to gather her things – at which point her phone mysteriously disappeared and reappeared where he’d been sitting – and he was trying to convince her to go to the bar and keep drinking which she’d agreed to. As they got up we nabbed her and checked she was OK, and she was very much done but too nice to abandon him. We suggested she went to the ladies and snuck out by the back door, and before we left we asked the waitress who’d been covering our tables to keep an eye on her. We do hope she got home OK, and without him in tow. Trying to be active bystanders is a good thing, and both of us have benefited from these in our younger days. I hope if any of my Horde find themselves in similar situations someone would look out for their welfare too.

The evening was somewhat marred by the Central Line being suspended between Liverpool Street and Leytonstone, which meant I had to get a mainline train to Harlow and then a cab back to the village, but there we are. I thought I’d try Uber, as Thing 1 seems to use them a lot successfully, but thanks to the Central Line and their surge pricing policy they wanted £85 for a 7.5 mile journey. Luckily the local taxi firm were more reasonable!

Friday

Friday night’s outing was with Rhiannon and we went to see Gerry and Sewell at the Aldwych Theatre. Based on Jonathan Tulloch’s sadly out of print (and not available on Kindle) novel The Season Ticket, which was also made into the brilliant film Purely Belter, this was a free ticket offer from the Participatory Arts London network. A five o’clock performance is also a very civilised time for those of us who live outside the TfL network.

I loved the film, so was looking forward to the play, and we weren’t disappointed – funny, poignant and at times shocking, with Geordie actors in the main roles and a good supporting cast including some puppetry. AC/DC and a lot of Sam Fender feature in the soundtrack with some dance sequences including the explosive opening moment involving a lot of flags in the audience. The set was bleak, as was a lot of the action – the north east after the closure of the shipyards was not a happy place – but the overarching message of the story is hope which does come through. Highly recommended if the production tours. If not, go and find the film.

Things making me happy this week

The social media algorithm showing me a lot of Pallas’s Cats
Finishing the second Lego bouquet
Meeting nearly 100 people wanting to work at our Centre at one of our information evenings
interviewing several excellent candidates for our Community Gardener role
Breakfast and a mooch round the charity shops with Miriam on Saturday morning
A really interesting meeting in Kentish Town (though the mansplaining that followed my sharing of the picture below was tiresome)
Haggis

And that’s it from me. I don’t know what this week has in store but am fairly confident it won’t involve flying men on rollerskates and audience participation….or if it does I’ll be very surprised!

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

The Retired Assassin’s Guide to Orchid Hunting – Naomi Kuttner

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe/Life, The Universe and Everything/So Long and Thanks For All The Fish/Mostly Harmless – Douglas Adams (Audible)

The Ornithologist’s Field Guide to Love – India Holton

The Enchanted Greenhouse – Sarah Beth Durst

Direct Descendant – Tanya Huff

An Inheritance of Magic – Benedict Jacka

305: deliver us from Evri*

*Other, equally useless, courier companies are available.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been ordering a lot of things for the access trolleys and the quiet space at our new site: from fidget toys and ear defenders to weighted shoulder wraps, twiddle muffs and friendly puppets. Families arriving with children who have additional needs will be able to pick up a sensory bag to take on their journey around the galleries, and adults will be able to choose the items they need to support their visit. In the quiet space there will be calming things for people feeling overwhelmed or reflective.

All of the things have had to be delivered by people who are paid (admittedly extremely badly, in some cases) to do exactly this: deliver things. It is their job. It is the sole reason for the existence of their employers: DHL, Evri, Royal Mail, Yodel and so on. I buy something on a website. The company dispatches the item, either by taking their parcels to the appropriate parcel place or by handing them over to the courier company when they come to collect them. The parcels are taken to a hub. They are sent from the hub to local delivery depots for collection by the local courier. The local courier picks them up and (ideally, in theory) delivers them to the person who ordered them: in this case, me.

This seems simple, yes? Order thing, thing sent, thing received. Unless something goes wrong between point A (the company) and point B (me), this should be the end of things. Things do go wrong, often with Evri in my experience: things disappear in transit, they experience ‘shrinkage’ in the warehouse, the courier throws all the parcels in a ditch in protest at being paid 50p a day or something, the parcel is ripped open in transit and arrives damaged and missing some bits which point A then has to make good so point B can start her new crochet project (for example), the parcels go back five paces, miss a turn and do not pass Go, that sort of thing. These things can often be resolved although not in the case of shrinkage/eddies in the space-time continuinuinuinuum when there is no hope and one must attempt to deal with customer service. The company has my money and I have the goods I have paid for. Like I say, this should be the end of things.

Ah, if only. If only.

I had two days off earlier in the week courtesy of the Grandtwins, who shared a particularly virulent bug with the family last weekend and which knocked out me, my Beloved, Things 2 and 3 like skittles on Sunday night. When I opened my emails on Wednesday the full horror of ordering things online (from UK companies, not even the big river) dawned in the shape of messages from Evri, DHL, Yodel, Royal Mail asking ‘how did we do?*’. Well, you did your job. Jolly well done. That’s really the very least we can expect.

Readers, I work in a ground floor office in the middle of Islington. Drivers can pull up literally outside, step from van to door, ring the buzzer and someone will come and relieve them of the parcel within 30 seconds. It is not rocket science. It is not even normal science. Not a single one of these drivers is ever required to abseil through a skylight, steer a speedboat through shark-infested waters, climb a mountain, freeclimb over a precipitous balcony and confront a vicious chihuahua armed with only a balaclava in order to leave a ~~box of mediocre chocolates~~ parcel on my desk. So why, therefore, should I be expected to rate their ability to hand a box to someone?

I am, of course, aware that these pesky emails are autogenerated. They’re also unsolicited, as I opt out of all of these things – when given the option. Any complaints made via this system aren’t read anyway and it tells you this from the off – especially in the case of the larger companies whose customer service is provided by bots until you accidentally enter the day’s prize password which grants you your wish to engage briefly and usually unsatisfactorily with an alleged human. In the cultural sector we talk about not doing evaluation for the sake of evaluation: ratings collected and input into some spreadsheet which is filed away and occasionally used to say things like ‘90% of our sessions are rated as excellent’ in a funding bid. Nothing is acted upon, so nothing improves, and the world (at least in my opinion) is made just a little bit worse by having to waste time deleting these unasked for, resource-wasting, AI-generated emails from your inbox.

The one that particularly annoyed me this week was nothing to do with work, however. It was from Evri, relating to a Wool Warehouse parcel they had mostly delivered. The new Attic 24 blanket CAL (crochet-a-long) started last Friday so I opened the yarn pack I’d ordered ready to start. I have never taken part in a CAL before so I was looking forward to it.

Six balls of yarn were missing, including the second colour needed from the pattern, some of the bands were ripped and the yarn was unravelling, so I emailed the yarn company who were wonderful as always. On Monday the WW team responded by 9am and despatched the missing yarn. Evri had damaged the original parcel and shoved most of the contents back in any-which-way before taping it up, sticking a new label on and delivering it to me (a day later than expected). The replacement yarn was sent on Monday, next-day delivery. It turned up two days later. So, a parcel that should never have been necessary, delivered late….and they ask you ‘how did we do?’ It doesn’t matter how amazing an online retailer is, how fast they send your parcel and how beautifully packaged it is, if the customer experience is marred by the delivery experience. Royal Mail is now so expensive to send parcels with that the courier companies have customers and retailers over a barrel. Or at least they would, if the barrel had been delivered on time.

*This isn’t even considering the emails from the companies supplying the actual products, who also emailed me. And heaven forbid you leave something in your basket, or put something in your basket and then remove it – that’s a whole new inbox of wheedling, passive-aggressive emails trying to tempt you back.

Things making me happy this week

Getting lots of reading done, which at least makes being ill more bearable
Deciding what to do with the enormous pile of 4-ply granny squares I’ve been glaring at for months

The first ridiculous amigurumi of the year. He’s a KING prawn!

Making a skirt with cargo pockets. Not sure they’re sewed on quite right but they do the job!

It’s been a creative week, as you can see – later today I am off to Heather’s for a crafty afternoon as we’re not going to the wool show this weekend. This week I have a couple of evenings with friends planned which I’m very much looking forward to!

I’ll leave you with a picture of Bailey looking singularly unimpressed….

Same time next week, everyone. How did I do?

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

Mudlarking – Lara Maiklem (Audible)

Cold Shoulder Road/Midwinter Nightingale/The Witch of Clatteringshaws – Joan Aiken

There Will Be Bodies – Lindsey Davis

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy/The Restaurant at the End of the Universe – Douglas Adams (Audible)

The Retired Assassin’s Guide to Orchid Hunting – Naomi Kuttner

Vagabond – Tim Curry

304: literary loves

Last week I mentioned that I was reading The Wolves of Willoughby Chase sequence again and quite a few of you lovely people have commented in various places about how they’d loved these books (well, obvs, as I have excellent taste). So, in the spirit of this I shall be sharing more of my childhood favourite series for your education and entertainment or something. I still have all of them on my shelves upstairs or on my Kindle. What have I missed though?

The Dark is Rising sequence – Susan Cooper. Quite Arthurian, set in Cornwall, Wales and Buckinghamshire. Do not watch the film, which was bloody awful despite a good cast.

Little House series – Laura Ingalls Wilder. Pioneering America, heavily romanticised. As an adult all that moving around must have been quite stressful for poor Ma, but it seemed exciting at the time.

The Maggie books – Joan Lingard. For older children, set in Scotland with a side quest to Canada.

Anne of Green Gables series – L. M. Montgomery. Poor Anne-with-an-E, with the carrotty hair and the trials and tribulations.

The Moomins series – Tove Jansson. Family-oriented trolls living in Moominvalley, hibernating through the winter and surviving Hemulens, Grokes and the Hobgoblin. If I ever have a craft shop it’ll be called The Hobgoblin’s Hat. I already named one of the Things after the author.

The Narnia books – C.S.Lewis. I spent a lot of time looking in old wardrobes but failed to find the lamp-post.

The Worst Witch series – Jill Murphy. Poor Mildred Hubble. I don’t blame her for turning Ethel into a pig. She deserved it.

Nancy Drew mysteries – Carolyn Keene. All of these were returned to me a couple of years ago and there will be a full reread. Nancy Drew is still about in various forms but I’m very old school about these and have no truck with them.

The Green Knowe books – Lucy M. Boston. Still haven’t managed to visit.

Willard Price’s Adventure series. So exciting. Everything I know about how to capture birds of paradise is thanks to Hal and Roger Hunt. So far I haven’t had a chance to use this knowledge. I don’t still have these, and suspect that they may not have aged well.

There were many more, of course, and lots of standalone novels that live in my memory and occasionally bubble up (meaning I need to go and find them again and re-read) – but that will be a post for another day.

Other things making me happy this week:

Chilly walk with friends and hounds
Lurking in my lair
Booking in things to look forward to in what’s turning out to be a gloomy January (no snow here!)
Family snow-watch – the one in NI won

Optimistic graffiti in Angel
Catching up with the work gang
Other people cooking dinner

This week has a private view at the Soane, Thing 2 promising to cook on Monday, shortlisting for our Community Gardener, starting the Attic24 Wildshore Blanket CAL – it’s all go!

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

Is/Cold Shoulder Road – Joan Aiken

All of a Winter’s Night – Phil Rickman (Audible)

The Lost Paths – Jack Cornish

The Great Deception – Syd Moore

The Dead of Winter – Sarah Clegg

303: make, read, sleep, repeat

Making stuff

This has been a very therapeutic week, making the most of the end of the year and the beginning of the new one before diving back into the inevitable maelstrom of the last phase of a capital project. I’ve spent many hours in my attic lair surrounded by piles of fabric, reading lots of books, dipping in and out of Grey’s Anatomy with Thing 1, and eating way too much of the Christmas cake.

The sewing hasn’t always been successful. Monday’s project – the Sewing Therapy Hanbok Skirt (a reversible pleated wrap skirt) turned into Tuesday’s project as well, when I unmade it, removed a third of the width and used the removed panel to add seven inches to the length. Floofy skirts that sit just below the knee are really not me, and this one made me feel like a Victorian tea table which I am sure was not the intention. I used a black pinstriped fabric that was perhaps too bulky for the style. I may make a summer version with something much lighter.

The written sewing instructions are sparse but useable, as the designer offers detailed video tutorials instead. As I discovered previously when making the Stitchless TV Bucket Coat, I don’t like video tutorials. Pausing and restarting and faffing about with laptops when I want to sew is a pain. Old style sewing patterns with all their nice clear illustrations and written instructions are much more me and a designer who offered both old-school and video would probably be very popular (definitely with me).

The second make was the Madswick Ginkgo Pinafore, a wrap dress (there may be a theme here) which can be worn several ways and which is a version of a black linen pinafore I use for layering when I am in need of extra pocketses. I used a king sized duvet cover for fabric, with a print of stars and fireflies so this will be for days when I require whimsical pocketses. This had good instructions although I cheated on the last step as burrito-ing the skirt panels felt unnecessarily complicated when a good stitch-in-the-ditch would do the job nicely.

I haven’t been able to do any sewing for ages so I also have a pile of unfinished quilting projects which I now have the space (and will find the time) to get to! The lair is going to be a productive place. I have also stocked up on biscuits.

Reading stuff

I’ve been indulging in a bit of nostalgia over Christmas, working my way through Joan Aiken’s wonderful Wolves of Willoughby Chase sequence, which is set in an alternative history where all those King Georges never made it to the throne. Following the adventures of Dido Twite and her friend Simon, it takes in wolves who’ve made it through the Channel Tunnel, dastardly Hanoverian plots, Arthurian legends, evil fake aunties and much more. When I started to re-collect these novels as an adult I was thrilled to discover that Aiken had filled in some of the gaps in Dido’s story and carried it on past the books I’d loved when younger. Pat Marriott’s dark, scratchy illustrations bring a sense of menace to the early novels, with their looming villains. I can feel a reread of the Dark is Rising sequence coming on afterwards.

I’ve also been learning about the history of footpaths in England and Wales with Jack Cornish’s The Lost Paths – long term readers will know that I love a long walk, and look forward to wandering down new footpaths when I’m out and about. This book looks at why and how many of our footpaths developed across time, what impact events like war and enclosure as well as natural events have on our access to the countryside, and why some paths just stop for no logical reason. It’s taken me ages to get through it (it’s not really a pick up and put down book) but having time off has hooked me right in.

Happy stuff

Seeing in the New Year surrounded by the usual friends and family, ridiculous trivia quizzes and Jill retaining her cereal box game crown despite competition from the teens…
Meeting an excellent kitten (who I didn’t kidnap as Lulu would probably have eaten him)
Snuggling babies in the form of sleepy twins on Saturday morning
Frosty walks with friends and hounds
The final episode of Stranger Things, and yes I cried.
The Holdovers – a film recommended by a work colleague, which manages to look as if it was filmed in the 70s.
Thing 2 making dinner on Saturday night
Resolving not to make any resolutions I can’t keep

Tomorrow is back to work, although at least from home for the first couple of days to ease back in! Happy New Year all.

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

The Stolen Lake/Limbo Lodge/The Cuckoo Tree/Dido and Pa – Joan Aiken

Strange Days – Violet Fenn

The Dead of Winter – Sarah Clegg

The Magus of Hay/Friends of the Dusk/All of a Winter’s Night – Phil Rickman (Audible)

The Lost Paths – Jack Cornish