There’s a meme that goes about every so often which reminds you that when a two year old is very very quiet you should be very very worried. This was brought home to me last night while I was babysitting for one of the grandbabies. I was sleepy. He was not sleepy as his dad had let him have a nap. He was cuddled up next to me on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, and I dozed off and thought he had too, watching CBeebies Bedtime Stories. It was 11pm, after all, and I’d had a hard day of staring at recruitment software (again).
Dear readers, you will not be surprised to find that I was wrong, and he was not asleep. I awoke to find that the small boy had discovered Thing 1’s stash of day cream and moisturiser (which, to be fair, I had asked her to take upstairs several times) and had anointed himself, the sofa and the Batman plush he’d been snuggling up to with liberal quantities of both. I was not impressed and told him so in my best firm granny voice while I cleaned him up. His response was to put me on time out for telling him off. ‘YOU’RE on time out, KK!’
It’s been a long while since I’ve had to negotiate with small children and I am out of practice, clearly. Last time we had an incident like this was when Thing 2 had had a fight with her sister, when they were about four and six, and in revenge she had very carefully put a large smear of Sudocrem on every single one of Thing 1’s dresses in the wardrobe. Sudocrem is a bit of a pain to get off things it isn’t meant to be on. I don’t think I’d ever considered grounding a four year old before, but she didn’t get to go to her friend’s birthday party that afternoon. I was not her ‘bet wend’ after that, but I was justifiably annoyed about all the extra laundry.
Her brother used to phone the police on his Thomas the Tank Engine toy phone when I wouldn’t let him play Lego Batman, and if magic wands really worked I’d have been a ‘FWOG’ many times over for being a bad mummy. Telling off small people is a hazardous business.
Anyway. Batman is now in the tumble drier and doesn’t seem to be any the worse for his impromptu facial. And his cape is so soft!
Things making me happy this week
- A jewellery making afternoon, turning lovely stitch markers from Chapel View Crafts into wearable things.
- Catching up to week three on the Wildshore Blanket crochet-a-long – sadly everyone else is on week five now, but there we are.
- Getting into The Night Manager on BBC iplayer. It’s very good.
- The revival of The Muppet Show on Disney Plus. Please make more, Disney. And bring back the poor haunted Muppet who has been burned before.
- Making another ridiculous skirt. So flouncy. Shorter than the last one.
- Not the rain. I am so done with rain.
That’s all, folks!
Kirsty x
What I’ve been reading:
House of Earth and Blood/House of Sky and Breath – Sarah J. Maas (Audible)
Fair Market Value/Amber Gambler – Hailey Edwards
What Kirsty did next 