Well, gang, it’s been a while since I had to get up on this particular soapbox, but here we are again. This time it has a positive outcome but quite frankly it should never have been an issue in the first place, it being 2024 and all that.
I should probably include a trigger warning here for workplace bullying, sexual harassment, self harm and fury. Skip to the happy list at the end if you like. I won’t mind. Honest.
Thing 1 has been working for the last month or so at the local pub, where she and her best friend do a mix of kitchen and front of house shifts. Another of her friends, a lad she was at school with, also works in the kitchen. It came to light that she really wasn’t enjoying the kitchen shifts, and neither were her friends, due to another, older, member of staff who was making sexually inappropriate comments to these two teenage girls and bullying the boy. Not in front of other staff, of course, but in that nasty underhand way that bullies have, trying to make his other victims complicit in his behaviour – presumably with a sense of relief that they weren’t on the receiving end for a change, because that’s how bullies work. He commented on Thing 1’s self-harm scars and ‘advised’ her on more effective methods, and made explicit comments on the girls’ physical appearance. He threatened to get them all sacked and screamed at the boy so loudly in the kitchen it could be heard in the bar.
One evening last week they got together and approached their manager, with video evidence of an incident and detailed everything else that had gone on. The manager – also the father of a teenage daughter, but I would hope his reaction would have been the same anyway – offered the girls the chance to speak to his wife if it made them more comfortable, or for his wife to join the conversation. He didn’t make them make a statement, which is supposed to be procedure at the company. The bully was sacked the next day for gross misconduct and it’s been made very clear to all the staff that bullying of any kind is not acceptable.
I’m very proud of them for standing up for themselves, but furious (mama bear again) that yet again Thing 1 has been subjected to bullying and inappropriate behaviour. Having been the victim of bullying at work when I was a young teacher, I’m aware of just how long-lasting the effects can be, how damaging it can be to your confidence, and I didn’t want this to be her impression of what work is. I’m also pleased the manager’s response wasn’t to ‘have a chat with him’ as it was when I reported sexual harassment to an HR team in the first museum I worked in. It also demonstrates the power of working together – forming their own little union, if you like, and making things better for everyone.
My baby bird has come a long way since the incident a couple of years ago with the local business owner, and I am glad that the lack of action by the CPS on that occasion didn’t deter her from reporting this, but oh, how I wish that this sh*t (sorry Dad) wasn’t still happening in the first place.
Things making me happy this week
- Interesting online things – mentoring training for working with young people who want to get into the creative industries, and one on workplace wellbeing.
- A good day at Copped Hall last Sunday, despite Thing 2 being convinced her feet were going to fall off. Converse are not good cold weather shoes.
- Making crochet French Fancies. With google eyes.
- Idris Elba’s In The Long Run, his comedy series loosely based on his East London childhood. At the same time I was reading Lenny Henry’s autobiography, set a decade earlier, but detailing his experiences growing up in the Black Country as a Caribbean migrant. There’s probably some clever comparison I can make but mostly Lenny Henry’s made me quite sad. Word of warning – Netflix have listed In The Long Run backwards so we watched series 3, then 2, then one and were very confused.
- Brassic, which has gone from strength to strength as the series (serieses?) have progressed.
- Bemused by Lulu-cat’s personality change in the last few weeks. She’s taken to shouting at us and demanding food loudly, herding us in a most Bailey-like fashion.
Next week I’ll be coming to you live from sunny (I hope) Wales. Must remember to pack laptop.
Kirsty x
What I’ve been reading:
Who am I, again? – Lenny Henry
A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian – Marina Lewycka
Perverse and Foolish: A Memoir of Childhood and Youth – L. M. Boston
21st Century Yokel/The Good, the Bad and the Furry – Tom Cox (Audible)
What Kirsty did next 