318: here come the girls

Friday night was girls’ night over at Miriam’s house, which is something we don’t do often enough for a variety of reasons – children, life, work, the ton of stuff that just sort of happens when you’re a grown up person with responsibilities. Dinner getting out of hand, the fact that you’re in your pyjamas and your bra is off and you really don’t want to put it back on again, you’re tired after a week at work and you don’t have the headspace to people any more that day. This one has been in the offing for a while, and Jill forgot that she was at Cub camp all weekend, a couple of others were doing family things and so on. See what I mean?

Anyway, six of us made it, plus M’s two daughters, and the plan was simple: pizzas, prosecco and inappropriate board games. Board games are always involved somewhere in the planning if not in the actual execution… S brought an excellent chocolate cake, there were savoury snacks and dips, and a variety of drinks. Conversation ranged from Mr Handsome the geography teacher; a person most of us knew separately for an interesting range of reasons; weird celebrity crushes; why eyelash curlers are a bad idea after the age of 50; kids; the menopause (the 26 year old has all this to look forward to… sorry Edith) and all its associated joys; pole dancing and more. All this before 11pm! M’s husband is an honorary woman and takes everything in his stride, bless him, but their lodger made a hasty escape when they came back at 10.

It was exactly what I needed, as it turned out – as I have mentioned a few times, life is challenging at the moment for many reasons and I left feeling a whole lot better about everything.

I’ve been very lucky with my girlfriends over the years – the family of choice when you become an adult and have to manage a lot of the time without the blood ones (who are always there when you need them but some of them sometimes need a bit more notice due to living plane rides away).

I had a hard core of friends at school, most of whom I am still in touch with although we’re quite scattered these days. On my first day in Preston I met Amanda and we’ve been friends ever since – early morning coffees whenever we can, the odd dinner and evening out, and a lot of cemeteries, museums, exhibitions and life moments have been explored together.

In Bethnal Green there was Kersti and Nicky, who I was able to catch up with over the last couple of weeks in London. When the relationship that brought me to Epping went down in flames, I was adopted by an amazing bunch of women (the Pink Ladies, but not the racist ones – just because of the sheer quantity of pink wine we were able to down in those days. Yes, even me, though I am a cheap date these days.) Spa weekends, nights when the staff at the Peking Garden (RIP) gathered round the table dropping hints that we should all go home – we refined our menu to the hors d’oeuvres, duck and pudding as we never managed to eat all the main courses, Christmas visits to the theatre. Without them I would not have made it through 2003.

When I moved to North Weald, the kids had made friends with the twins two doors away and as it turned out the mum and I had a mutual friend. I got roped into the local mums’s group raising money for a new play-park round the corner. We used to hold meetings (with an agenda!) in the pub and quite often we’d even manage to make decisions. We organised events in village halls and on the Common – Easter egg hunts, Halloween and Christmas parties where Jill got to indulge her am-dram panto ambitions, and memorably a carols and mince pies evening in a marquee pitched in what was essentially a swamp in the pouring rain. The play-park is well loved and as a result I have a gang of friends with whom I hurl myself in freezing water, fail to play games, go for lots of walks with dogs and each other, have annual traditions and between us we have a bunch of kids who we’ve watched grow up into excellent young adults.

I’m also very lucky to be part of a hard core gang of girl cousins, to have gig buddies like Jen (who I get to see unexpectedly next month!) and museum friends too like Cath and Rhiannon. All bases are covered..

I wouldn’t be without a single one of them – there’s nothing like a girlfriend for cheering you up when you’re down, for promising to provide an alibi and a spade if it all gets too much, for cracking open the prosecco/cider/Baileys at the slightest excuse, and for generally being the folded beer mats under the table leg of life. I love them all.

Things making me happy this week

A helpful chat on Thursday afternoon which went a long way to sorting out my brain
Baby Cow season!
Coffee last Sunday with Miriam and Edith
Seeing Nicky and Alan again before they headed back to NZ (don’t leave it 20 years again!)
A walk in the sunshine on Saturday morning, following squirrels through the forest and making friends with lots of bouncy dogs as I had a coffee at Julie’s Cafe in Stonards.

The very beautiful rainbow on Monday even if it meant I had to shelter in a stable for half an hour to get out of the torrential downpour

Unexpected time with the twins on Saturday, and they have developed excellent baby giggles
Simple sewing projects in the shape of some strappy dresses that came together very quickly
Working to the sound of 6 Music on Friday
Sharing playlists on Spotify

That’s it from me – looking forward to a swim in the morning with Rachel and to the tumble dryer repairer actually turning up….

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

Common Murder Val McDermid
The Bone Hacker Kathy Reichs

281: all the little things

Epping continues to be overrun by racists twice a week and this is not making me happy. I have an evening out planned with a like-minded buddy in two weeks and we are going to allow ourselves a 10 minute rage before we have, as she put it, a delightful time. I am all for this. In the meantime, I am trying extremely hard to think about all the positive things that happen to me rather than the idiots who seem to be happening around me. So that’s what this week’s post is all about: do add the good things happening to you in the comments.

There are some people who you don’t see for several years – Covid, moving house, changing jobs, life getting in the way, those old chestnuts – but when you finally catch up with them it’s as if you’re picking up a conversation that you were having about five minutes ago. Yes, that’s a cliche but – like most of these things – it’s a cliche because it’s true. That was Thursday evening with my fierce Italian friend Sabrina. Dinner out and the world was put to rights (ah, if only – but I felt better for it!). Even better, it was back on my old West India Quay stomping ground which still looks wonderful in the sunshine.

Giving the rainbow hare/bunny to one of my colleagues – he loved it which made me very happy! Now his partner wants one too. I have let it be known that I am bribable with cake as he is an excellent baker.
Starting my Christmas (sorry) crochet in good time – with a new version of a pig in a blanket. There will be mice, pigs, robins, pingwings and more.
Signing up for the Autumn Welsh Market at the London Welsh Society
This crochet meerkat, just because…

Spending my birthday Amazon voucher (thank you to my Beloved) on some double gauze fabric, yarn and nice things
A gorgeous solo walk early on Friday morning (Jill was supposed to join me…)
Manic Street Preachers with Miriam at Audley End on Saturday along with Ash and The Charlatans

A long walk (nine miles) on Saturday, trying a new route out to Shelley Church where I have a stall next weekend. I won’t be walking there then though. I wandered through woods, farmyards and fields and met some excellent dogs.

The Central Line behaving
Getting the adverts out for the new roles in my team

See? It’s a nice world after all.

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading

Long Hot Summoning – Tanya Huff

Still Water/The Wild Life – John Lewis-Stempel

Between the Stops– Sandi Toksvig

The Baby Dragon Cafe – AT Qureshi

Moon Over Soho/Whispers Underground – Ben Aaronovitch (Audible)

251: learning from experience

I think, if nothing else, the past fifty odd years of my life have proved that New Year’s resolutions are a bit of a waste of time, so having got that thinking out of the way I can get on with 2025 in my usual fashion – doing as I would be done by, trying not to eat too much cake, making a dent in the contents of the sheds and not being too lazy. This all seems doable. As I mentioned last week I have signed up to an event in March, so need to train for that – I love to walk but am essentially lazy so need a target to aim at. As Tan said about me in 2023, wind her up and point her in the right direction and she’ll just keep going.

Of course, there is still a lot of cake left but will try and ration my consumption….

This week was New Year’s Eve and as has become the tradition over the past ten years or so we spent it with our village gang of friends. Our plan was to go early, spend an hour or so and then come home when the grandbaby we were looking after for the night started getting grumpy. What we hadn’t reckoned with was Mason’s night owl habits – he was having a whale of a time dancing, playing with balloons, being cute at people, eating party food and so on. We eventually wrestled him back into the buggy at 1am, much to his disgust, and marched him home to bed.

I was on night duty with him, sleeping on the couch next to his travel cot, and I am clearly out of practice at this, since my lot are all in their teens – I woke at every snuffle and hiccup and by the time his mama rolled in at 8am with Thing 1 after they’d been out to a rave I was very ready for my bed! Mason, on the other hand, woke up at 6.30am, promptly stole my pillow and blanket while I was warming up some milk for him and went back to sleep leaving me no space at all. Needless to say I spent a lot of New Years Day in bed. Still, as I may have mentioned before, there is nothing quite as snuggly as an armful of warm sleepy baby – at least until your arm goes dead.

I don’t think Lulu is quite as fond of overnighting babies – she’s been quite mad this week, but she’s now got a new tower to play with. Toddlers are big fans of cats but the feeling is not mutual…

SERIOUSLY? Did you do the wine test?

Apparently the Uniqlo round mini bag has been going viral recently for being lightweight, washable, handy for travel and being able (according to my sister) to fit an entire bottle of wine inside which I can see would be very useful. The social media reviews tend to talk about 500ml water bottles, but she has her priorities, OK?

The Uniqlo one comes in a quilted option, a corduroy option, as a lined version with a sporty strap, and in a whole variety of colours. Tan had bought the black version and kindly demonstrated the booze-holding capacity at the Christmas market in Ealing – I’d already been looking at the red version while shopping on Black Friday but hadn’t bought it as it wasn’t yellow. I like yellow when it comes to bags. When I was buying my parents’ Christmas presents I gave in to the red one as it was still on sale – obviously it still wasn’t yellow but I found a pattern on Etsy for a dupe and spent a couple of days between Christmas and New Year making a couple in different colours.

The pattern was easy to follow (all mistakes were my own, like getting one of the lining panels the wrong way up!) and the outcome was the same size as the Uniqlo original. This pattern has a zippy pocket on the inside which was surprisingly easy to install, two small side panel pockets and a main space which does – just about – fit the bottle of wine in the same way that the Uniqlo one does. All the fabric and zips came from my stash – a remnants bundle of waxed cotton provided the outer fabrics, and some quilting cotton featuring lucky cats and a comic book print from the V&A sample sale a couple of years ago came in handy for the lining.

I did need to buy the hardware as I wanted an adjustable strap but if you always wear your bags the same length you can make it without these bits. You could also make it without the zippy pocket if you were after a quick gift for someone. I happen to have a lot of waxed cotton so can see me making more of these (get your requests in now, people! I have various colours (not purple or teal, sorry M)). I tested it out on my commute on Thursday and it fits my phone, glasses case, earphone pouch easily but not my current portable project but that’s because I didn’t try and squash it in.

Things making me happy this week

The possibility of snow, though I fear I will be let down by Essex weather again
Siestas with warm cats as winter is finally biting (see point 1)
The microwavable boots I had for Christmas I had from the TTS (see point 2)
Quiet day in the office on Thursday where NO ONE was asking me to do stuff. I can be forgiven for being late to both Teams meetings, yes? What were all these other people doing working?
Putting Christmas away tidily till next year
Home made orange, cinnamon and cranberry bread in the bread maker
Finally mastering Yorkshire puddings
This is England – I didn’t pay any attention the first time round but am really enjoying it
Wallace and Grommit – Vengeance Most Fowl – No Parkin! on the Yorkshire border side made me laugh out loud
A rainbow of fat quarters for a quilting project just awaiting the purple shades before I can start planning
Quilting this nine-patch ready for backing. I *think* it’s a Riley Blake fabric but it may also be Moda. It’s got stars on and it was charm packs.

With any luck the lake will be frozen tomorrow so we can pretend we’re orcas or polar bears or something – a good ice swim always makes us feel like superwomen!

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

High Five/Hot Six/Seven Up/Hard Eight/To The Nines – Janet Evanovich

BBC Dramatisations of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels (Audible)

A wide range of quilt books in search of inspiration!

218: where have all the weirdos gone?

Yesterday Amanda and I ventured south of the river to tick off West Norwood Cemetery, the sixth of the Magnificent Seven Victorian graveyards – the original plan was Nunhead, but one of my colleagues tipped me off that it was their annual family open day and likely to be infested with Morris Dancers and small children rather than our usual cast of weirdos.

We met at London Bridge, where we both – separately – encountered a man wandering round with some rather grubby cards and a slightly desperate look on his face who was offering to do magic for people for some reason. South London hasn’t really featured on either of our radars, so it was new ground for us – we earmarked the RSPCA shop for a mooch after the cemetery, and we were quite surprised to find that the cemetery was very close to the station rather than a lengthy walk like the others.

West Norwood was the second of the seven to be built but is less higgledy-piggledy than Highgate and Kensal Green, with lots of mowed spaces and a newish rose garden for cremation burials where ashes can be scattered. There are wildlife areas – lots of wild flowers and birdlife, including cheeky robins and wagtails, noisy parakeets and magpies and the odd squirrel.

We are now getting to the age where mortality is making its presence felt and I think we’re quite pleased that there’s only one more to go on the list. We noticed a lot of child and baby burials from the 80s and 90s which made us sad. There are some great tombs, especially in the Greek quarter where there is a monumental chapel being restored with a Heritage Fund grant – a stonemason was at work, in fact, doing something with a chisel in the chapel. We didn’t find a single Martha on the stones – but there is always a Martha! – but did find lots of Elizas. We also found the wonderfully-named Carlton Parchment who, if I ever write a detective novel, will definitely be featured. Oswald Manoah Dennison is buried there, described on his gravestone as ‘The Columbus of Brixton and Empire Windrush pioneer’, which is a wonderful epitaph to be buried under. I love this poem by Dan Thompson I found about him and you can read an interview with him here.

Lunch was at Pintadera, a busy, friendly Italian cafe close to the station and an excellent suggestion by a friend who lives locally. Amanda had the mushroom and nduja pasta special, I had the ravioli with a beef and veal ragu which was delicious. We both had affogatos! Really reasonably priced, and highly recommended if you find yourself in the area.

The RSPCA shop trawl netted me a new pair of linen trousers and a skirt, a book and a pair of sunglasses for Thing 2. I do love a charity shop and this one was a really good one for clothes.

Other things making me happy this week

A girls’ night out to the cinema to see The Fall Guy, which just consolidated my love for Ryan Gosling (especially after watching La La Land earlier in the week)
Mental health awareness week – we went for a work picnic to get out of the office as the theme was movement. It was raining so instead of one of the local gardens we went to the Barbican, which was a great call by one of my colleagues. So good to step away from the desks and have a chat at the end of an exciting week.
And on the way back Esme Young from the Sewing Bee walked past us and I tried really hard not to embarrass myself.
Finishing Ashes to Ashes – the Daniel Mays character was completely bonkers, I still love the Gene Genie, but Alex was getting on my nerves.
Building an extremely long playlist based on blokes with guitars and angst. It’s great.
Coffee with Brian on Tuesday before work.
Finally being able to announce that our development is going ahead!
Running into ex-colleagues at the Museums and Heritage Show.

And that’s it from me for the week – this week it’s my Irish sister’s birthday (happy birthday!), and a session with my favourite teacher training alliance.

Kirsty x

What I’ve been reading:

Bubbles All The Way/Bubbles Reboots – Sarah Strohmeyer

The Monkey’s Raincoat – Robert Crais

The Lost Continent – Bill Bryson (Audible)

Pay Dirt – Sara Paretsky

Necropolis -Catharine Arnold